Why won’t you just suck! 

This is my second time breast feeding and this baby girl is just so much harder to feed then my wild boy. She grumbles, moans, groans, pulls away and gets distracted. I either have to stay still and not move so she can get comfortable and feed or even lay down in bed and feed her. 

I was so lucky with my first as I didn’t have any problems with feeding. However second time around I have been just struggling constantly. I think that’s normal though to have troubles. I know lots of women can struggle but not everyone talks about the struggles.

You think you aren’t good enough if they aren’t sucking properly or if they aren’t settled. It’s such a horrible feeling when you can’t settle your baby straight away. I know I really struggle to stay calm and not stress. The farmer is always onto to me about keeping calm because the baby can feel everything you are feeling. It’s doesn’t help that he is the calmest person on the whole freaking planet. Sometimes that just makes me more annoyed but that’s only because I’m starting to stress out.

Whenever I think I’m starting to get a hang of this I get a curve ball and I’m back to having no idea what to do again. I guess that’s parenting though. Not always knowing the right thing to do and how to do things. 

I guess my baby girl is just going to be totally different. I really thought breast feeding was going to be a breeze this time around but I guess Nature decided I could handle this better than I am currently. 

She is 4 months now so I guess I’m just trying to stay one step in front. You know I want to have control but parenting I guess you sometimes have no idea what’s going to happen and you can get caught off guard. There is nothing that can prepare you for motherhood. It’s a bloody long roll a coaster. 

I have never been good at expressing which bottle feeding has been almost impossible. I’m pretty sure I have tried everything to try and bottle feed. Breast feeding at the moment for me is my challenge and I’ll just have to take each day as it comes because it is a blessing that I can even breastfeed at all. 

Until next time xx

The Young Farm Wife 

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