It’s almost like every decision I made lead me to saying yes on going on a blind date to meet my farmer.
When I was younger I always loved watching the TV show ‘The Farmer Wants A Wife’. I use to think ‘I’m going to marry a farmer one day’ how funny the things we think when we are young. I must have been a teenager thinking this. I’m pretty sure I even told my parents. Classic Amy right there.
Before that faithfull trivia night at the pub a couple of weeks prior my beautiful friend told me about this strange app. An app where you could check out single guys and read a blurb about themselves and if you didn’t like them you just kept on swiping past them. So me as a single lady downloaded that app as fast as my little fat fingers would go. I got swipping away and finally I got a match to a younger than me country/cowboyish looking man. My prayers had been answered I thought. Little did I know what this match would turn into to.
Back to the trivia night at the pub. I was early so I bought myself a Canadian club and Tieran text me to say he was running late and to excuse himself for the shirt he would be wearing. Which I thought was a little strange but my adrenaline was pumping through my body so fast I didn’t even take any notice of his shirt when he finally walked into the pub.
Tieran told me his name about 5 times and I still didn’t hear it or even know what it was for the first 2 weeks after that meeting.
He was a gentleman bought me another drink and some food and then we even went and saw a movie. Of course I talked the whole time and here and there The farmer said ‘yes or no’. Because I talked so much I was thinking the whole time I drove home that I totally stuffed the date up and he was never going to talk to me again.
But to my amazement I got a text from the farmer about 45 minutes later ‘that he enjoyed the date and wanted to see me again’. I was so blown away by this as it made me so happy.
For the next three weeks we saw each other almost everyday. I also finally read what one of his shirts said ‘I don’t need a tractor to pull a hoe’ which is what he wore on our first date but I was too busy being nervous that I never read it. I finally figured out why he apologised for his shirt before we met. What an idiot Amy!
Then I found out he had to go back up to the territory for work but he would be back in 6 weeks for Christmas.
So we parted ways. It was the longest 6 weeks of my life. Before he left on the plane though the tough farmer told me three words that would change my life forever. I bet you can guess what he said. . . .
Six weeks later we were reunited when I picked him up from the airport and I think I was more nervous seeing him again then I was for our first date.
We headed to the Gold Coast to spend Christmas with my family and of course what girl isn’t worried about introducing their boyfriend to their parents. Especially already knowing in my heart this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was scary.
Anyways after all the introductions we all hopped into the car to pick up some dinner and as we were driving my mother decided to tell us all that she needed to book her wax appointment. I was so embarrassed in that car ride and my mother didn’t even realise what she was doing. Typical of mother and thank you for that. . . . NOT!!!
Then came Christmas Day and for some reason my mum gave the weirdest presents to my sister and I. I got Victoria Secret underwear but they had holes in the strangest places. Then my sister got a candle that after you burn it for a while you can pour the wax onto your body. I’m pretty sure my sisters husband and my farmer where thinking WTF!! Because my sister and I were definitely thinking that.
Other than that it was a success and family loves him even though he was very quiet. Which is completely opposite me. Loud and always talking.
Now the best change driving to the inlaws and spending a week in the country. Here was my test. I’m from the city and I was about to enter a totally different world. It took us over 4 hours to drive from my parents place to the farm. I kept double checking with the farmer saying ‘your family knows you are coming right and you’re bringing me?’ And he kept saying ‘yep, it’s all good!’
We were about 10 minutes away and the farmer decided to ring his family to say we were close and the key words in that is WE because then his father says ‘We? What do you mean we?’ And the farmer replies with a simple answer ‘Me and Amy’.
As we were driving up the track to the house I swear I could have vomited I felt sick and I sweating like crazy! On the other end the farmers family was already gathered outside the house and even a cousin that was at his nanas drove up to see who the young farmer had brought home.
Now any girl knows what it feels like meeting the inlaws for the first time, let alone getting out of the car and there are 10 people watching your every move. I’m pretty sure the exact words that came out of my month at the moment was ‘Holy F#$k!’
The farmers family had only minutes to actually take it all in that their son was bring home a lady, well what they thought was a well behaved lady. I’m definitely a bit rough around the edges which I’m sure as hell they know now!
Anyways after the introductions the farmer took me on a tour of the family farm on the 4 wheeler of course. It was great I love bikes so I really enjoyed getting the wind in my hair. First stop was the dam and the farmer tells me to jump off. So of course I do and straight into mud where I sink right up to my knees and then there are baby frogs jumping everything which I didn’t see before I jumped in. All the farmer could do was laugh, while I’m yelling pull me out as my legs were stuck! Good on you!
Next stop. . . . Shooting. I was keen as mustard to get behind a gun and give it a squeeze. Something I’ve wanted to do my whole life. So I ‘cowboy up’ listened to the farmers instructions because for obvious reasons it’s dangerous and I needed to not make any mistakes. So just to get me settled in we started with a small gun which was fine and then the next was slightly bigger and then the third was a double barrel shotgun. I will never ever forget what that gun was as it is bloody loud and actually scared me a bit. The farmer gave me a demo first and holy cow this gun is the real deal. It was full on. But all I was thinking I can’t back out now I’ve told the farmer how much I’ve wanted to do this. So again he carefully goes through what I need to be doing and helps me place the gun in the right position just under my shoulder kind where your armpit starts and really push it against it and hold it still. As you really don’t want to hurt yourself as it has a bit (more like a lot) more of a kick back.
Then he steps back and said ‘off you go. . .’ So I’m actually starting to sweat and I think I’m shaking a little bit and I’m telling myself I can do this and then all of a sudden I pull the trigger but as the gun goes off I also backfired. Yes you heard correctly I backfired. . . . I farted. I can’t even tell you how many things were going through my head at that point, like was it just a fart or did I shit myself as well but the look on the farmers face was priceless. He looked astonished and said with a grin Did. You. Just. FART? And we both just brusted (well I had already bursted) with laughter!
I have to say one of the funniest moments of my life ever and I have quiet a few and most of them have all happen in front of my farmer!
Shooting a gun and farting at the same time is one way to break the ice for farting in front of each other. And of course that story is always one that comes out. I’m pretty sure most of my friends know that story about me and the farmer.
So moving along and you’d be happy to know that in just under 6 months on a Easter Sunday my farmer secretly called my parents and asked for their blessing to marry me. Then that every same night stark naked he asked me to be his wife. And move forward another 6 months to the 5th of November 2014, exactly 365 days after the first day we met we said ‘I do’ on the family farm in my mother inlaws beautiful garden.
This year we will be celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary and we have 2 beautiful kids. We definitely know how to move fast.
I know everyone is different but when you know you have found the right person everything just clicks into place. He still gives me goosebumps bumps and makes me blush almost everyday. I wouldn’t want to wake up next to anyone else.
He is the love of my life. He is my one true love.
Thank you for choosing me!
The Young Farm Wife xx
Photo: Our Wedding 05 | 11 | 2014